This year I’m turning 35. Really I’m turning 28 for the seventh year in a row (or so I’ve been telling myself, my friends, family and anyone else who asks my age.) Age is just a number, but 35 is a number that I’ve had some difficulty settling into. I mean, what is it really like to be a woman in your mid-30s? Until this week I had never really considered it.
At first, I started to get worried about it like maybe my ass will blow up tomorrow, my boobs will sag and I’ll start wearing “mom jeans,” and completely let myself go. When this happens I go into a frenzy grabbing a green juice and racing to the gym… Other times, I wondered what could possibly happen after 35 that could be of any value, and if I could be happy. But, tonight I had an epiphany. As I looked at my closest friends at my home celebrating with a homemade Italian dinner, I decided I couldn’t be happier. I realized that I (and any other woman, no matter their age) can determine their own happiness.
Dealing with Changes in Life
Over the last decide I’ve experiences a lot of changes. I became a mother and had a marriage end. I changed jobs, moved, moved again and then moved again. While change can be a challenge at times, I can say that the decisions I made over the last few years (no matter how difficult) were the best choices I have ever made for my own happiness and well-being. I was able to step out of the life I had and decide what life I wanted to have. I was able to think about what goals I wanted to accomplish as well as what (and who) I wanted and didn’t want in my life. Over the last few years I have been able to build a successful business, get into the best physical shape of my life and work every day to be a better mother, friend, manager, family member and person.
I learned to not take one day, one moment for granted. And to appreciate and love the small things in life like watching my daughter play, really listening when she talked and taking just a minute to show consideration and appreciation for others. I’ve even had some bumps along the way, but I’ve learned from this, some things that are essential to happiness.
How to Cut the Bullshit out of Your Life and Be Happy
No matter if you’re 25, 28 or over 35, these are some of the things I did to make necessary and positive changes in my life that are the secrets to happiness:
1. Don’t dwell on the negative – I used to waste more time thinking about negativity or talking about it or letting it allow me to not get things done. I decided that I wasn’t going to dwell on it anymore. It didn’t matter. What mattered was today, now, the future and that’s where I was going to live. I also chopped negativity from my life.
2. Listen to and pay attention to your kid(s) – There were so many times that I was too busy or working or just thought so many unimportant things were important to listen to my daughter. I stopped that. She is the most important thing. What she has to say is more significant than anything else. Children are so valuable. They deserve so much respect. I gave that to my daughter.
3. Say what you have to say – Another thing that I started doing was saying exactly what I wanted to say, giving my opinion and being open and honest. Life is too short for skating around things and I decided to stop doing it.
4. Be kind – Showing consideration and kindness not only when it was easy, but when it was the most difficult was something that greatly contributed to my overall happiness and well-being. Kindness is so utterly important in all aspects of life.
5. Love yourself – Last but not least I stopped invalidating myself. I understand that I’m not perfect but at the same time I don’t have to constantly dwell on these imperfections. Leave them behind and move on.
I realized that my happiness comes from me; no matter how old I am.